Writers and composers have writer’s block, and painters have slumps of their own, but what about a musician who can’t practice? What kind of block is that?
I feel like I’ve almost lost my love of practicing. Yes….I know….we all have days….but it’s been several months, and I just can’t focus. I sit down, and I have a plan. I’m going to practice this passage. I’m going to do it this many times, with this many variations, until I get it even and up to so-and-so speed, etc. Yet, pretty soon, about 20 minutes in, I take a small break, and all of a sudden, I find myself thinking about something else, and I become distracted, and I sit for 30 minutes doing inane tasks. 40 minutes after that, I look around myself, and realize I have put down the bassoon, and wasted whatever practice time I had set aside for myself.
My teacher always says “You’ll be surprised what you can do in 10 minutes”, but by the end of the day, I just feel unaccomplished and unfocused, which makes it harder to pick up the bassoon the next day and start all over again.
Maybe I just feel unfocused in life, or maybe I’m just doing too many things at once. That’s no excuse. What is funny about the whole thing, is I used to be incredibly unhappy with my life, and practice all the time. Now, I’m quite content with my existence, but I have no focus or motivation to practice. Where’s the drive I used to have? Where’s the ambition and motivation?
I’ve also noticed a lack of fire when it comes to the music I’m playing. My first recital is in June, and I like the pieces I’m playing, but nothing really strikes me. Nothing excites me. This isn’t like me, but I don’t really know what to do about it. lol. I’m at a loss. Anyone have any advice?